I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
