Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
