Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
