dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
