Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
