your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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