dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
