they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
it glows. i had to have it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
