I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
