Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Randomize
