Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
