After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
