well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
