he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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