You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
