I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Semen is not good for contacts.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He better not be in your backpack
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
