How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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