I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
