Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
