you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
