We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
