I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You don't make any sense
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