I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
