please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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