Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
where does the pee come out of this thing
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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