he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
