Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
