I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
