Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
