My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
