Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
