Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
