I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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