But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
