they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
