1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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