you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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