and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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