Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
