She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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