one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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