google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
