This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
