oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
