Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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