i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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