I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
