I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
