I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
