I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize
