I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
