the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
